Buttermilk Biscuits

The fastest and most low-effort bread I have yet to make. These crispy, fluffy, salty, buttery biscuits blow bland pre-made offerings out of the water twenty times over. The hardest part is grating some frozen butter on a box grater. Why? I’ll show you.

Recipe

Hardware:

1. Large mixing bowl

2. Sifter or Mesh strainer

3. Half sheet pan

4. Liquid measure

5. Box grater

   Optional but recommended:

6. Kitchen scale

7. Bench scraper

8. Pastry brush

9. Parchment paper

Software:

1. 2.5 Cups (300g) self-rising flour

2. 1.5 tsp sugar

3. 1 Stick frozen salted butter, plus some extra melted for biscuit tops

4. 1 Cup buttermilk

Procedure:

1. Pre-heat oven to 465 F

2. Measure out the flour and sugar into a mixing bowl. I prefer to sift 300 grams of flour into the bowl, rather than using volumetric measurements.

3. Grate the frozen butter on the box grater, combine the butter in with the flour, and put the bowl in the freezer for at least 15 minutes.

4. Generously flour your work surface. Add the buttermilk to the bowl and gently bring the mixture together, turning it out once the dough starts to become coherent.

5. Coax your messy dough together, add more flour as needed, and roll it out to about an inch thick

6. Fold the slab over on itself, add more flour to prevent sticking, and roll it out again. Repeat at least 4 times, and roll it out to an inch a final time.

7. Punch the biscuits out with a sharp circular cutter or cut into squares to avoid messing with re-rolling scraps. This recipe will yield about 8-10 3.5” rounds or 3” squares.

8. Put the biscuits on a parchment-lined baking sheet, brush them with melted butter, and bake until just starting to turn golden brown, about 12-15 minutes.

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For years, I have avoided making bread because it’s a lot of work and it can smell fear. “Easy” or “fast” pizza dough always took me hours of work and left my kitchen looking like a post-nuclear disaster area. These biscuits have started to change my mind. I’m 20,000 leagues under being a professional chef, and most would hesitate to call me neat or organized. Despite this, I can crank out a batch of these biscuits in an hour provided I don’t have to do the dishes first. So, why the grated butter? This accomplishes two things: it keeps the butter cold and it’s easier than cutting in fat the old fashioned way. Using a pair of knives or a dough cutter is the time-tested way to get small pieces of fat incorporated into a dough, but grating in frozen butter allows you to get the same pebble-like consistency without having to warm up your butter. Keeping the butter as cold as possible maximizes the steam production and, by extension, the size of the fluffy air pockets in your finished product. Plus, it saves time, so all the better. I rolled this batch out too thin, so I didn’t get as much rise out of them as I could have, but these aren’t destined to be sandwiches, so they work out just fine. These are a great accompaniment to a wide variety of meals, and making a batch on Sunday to last through the whole week is a no-brainer when it only takes an hour and costs just under $1.75.